AOB Any Other Business

Be anyone.

Play-by-mail football, for people with jobs. Six clubs, 144 real people, five minutes a day. Matches on Saturday lunchtimes, whether you're watching or not.

One email when Season Zero opens. Nothing else.

Item 1

Apologies for absence

Six football clubs run entirely by real people. Six owners sign the cheques, six managers pick the team, and 132 players decide whether to do as they're told. Your part takes five minutes. Everyone else is the complicated bit.

Careers run over real-world months. Players age, fall out, get sold, retire, and come back as someone new. Nobody plays against the computer. The computer keeps the score.

Item 2

The weekly agenda

Mon 08:00
Training week setPick your training. Pick your attitude. Both are on the record.
Tue 08:00
Contracts and conversationsContract talks, bonuses, and whatever needs saying in private.
Wed 12:00
The press does its roundsLeaked messages, transfer rumours, and at least one manager under pressure.
Thu 08:00
Selection and grievancesThe manager names a squad. Everyone else finds out where they stand.
Fri 08:00
Final instructionsTactics are locked. Players decide privately whether to follow them.
Sat 12:00
Matches, liveMinute-by-minute text commentary across all three fixtures.
Sun
Nothing happensOfficially.
Item 3

Appointments

Owner

6 places

You own a football club, which is to say you own a hole in the ground that money goes into. Set the budget, appoint the staff, build the stadium, and decide at the end of each season whether the manager keeps his job.

You cannot pick the team. That's the whole difficulty.

~5 min/day · one bad decision per week

Manager

6 places

Pick the team, pick the shape, and write instructions that eleven adults may or may not follow. Every result is your fault.

Handle the dressing room, the press, and an owner with opinions about the budget.

~10 min/day · plus Saturday

Player

132 places

Train, sulk, shine. Follow the manager's instructions, or ignore them and go looking for a goal with your name on it.

Your career runs for months and your reputation follows you into the next one.

~5 min/day · lower during international breaks

Places are allocated in the order applications are received. Once the 144 are seated, the season starts without the rest.

Item 4

Matters arising

Rovers 2 — 1 City · Live text ● 74'
74'
GOAL! Kamara ignores the touchline instructions again, cuts inside, top corner. The manager's face says everything.
72'
Kamara does not celebrate towards the bench. He celebrates towards the away end, at length.
71'
Booking for Whitlock. He had been warned. Twice.
68'
Substitution for Rovers. Doyle is coming off and has opinions about it.
63'
RED CARD. City down to ten. The owner is on his feet, which is unlike him.
Leaked to the press · Wednesday, 12:04

"If he plays me at left-back one more time I'm putting in a written request."

Screenshot supplied by a team-mate who has since described the leak as "a real shame". Kamara has not responded. The manager has.

Item 5

Season Zero

Cost
Free. There's no shop.
Starts
When the 144 places are filled.
Runs
13 weeks, then a break, then again with older players.
Places
144 — 6 owners, 6 managers, 132 players.
Where
Your browser. Works on a phone, works on a second monitor.
  1. You leave an email address. We don't use it until there's something to say.
  2. Two weeks before kick-off you pick a role and rank your preferences.
  3. Squads are drawn, clubs are named, and the first training week opens on the Monday.
  4. Saturday, noon.

Unsubscribing is one click.

Item 6

Any other business

Do I need to be good at football games?

No. There's no clicking, no reflexes, nothing to memorise. You make choices in plain English and live with them. Reading people matters more than knowing formations.

What if I miss a day?

Your character carries on without you, on last week's instructions and their own judgement. Miss a week and the press will describe it as a settling-in period.

Can I get sacked?

Managers can be dismissed at the end of a season, not during one. An owner who wants rid of you in October has to sit with you until May. Players can be dropped, frozen out, or sold. Owners stay until they choose to leave.

Is this going to get me fired?

It's five minutes in a browser tab that looks like a spreadsheet from 1994. The Saturday matches are on your own time.

How much of this is decided by an AI?

The match engine simulates the football and writes the commentary. Every decision that matters — selection, instructions, whether to follow them — is made by a person who has to face the others on Monday.

What happens after 13 weeks?

Careers age. Some players retire and start again as an unknown 17-year-old. Some managers get a better job. Some owners double down. The previous season stays on file.